i dun think i can make it anymore..

i realli dun think i can make it anymore le.. i realli wan to gib up on myself and him............

hais.. it has been 5 mths plus plus since we break... no outcome.. im realli struggling ah.. to me is like a torture lei.. i realli hope things will work it out for us.. i told alvin jus onli, and his reply was impossible de la.. things hav come to this stage.. his words realli make mi think..

im more down nw .. realli.. i realli wan to get out of the whole thing.. but im kind of entangle inside.. its hard for mi to get out.. i realli wan to get out ah!! jiu ming...

he told mi today he went to watch movie wit his junior.. hais.. i noe im childish to cry and also veri ridiculous to feel jealous or wat.. but i noe my heart still wit him..

wat i ask for was jus a simple r/s.. true love.. tat'a all..

nw we are so close till we are simply back to our old days, but the thing is tat we are nt couple.. i onli wan to hav a name.. i mean like a name - gf.. nt as a back up or some one u can flirt with...

i ever think of that was, since u treat mi as some one u can flirt and play along wit, then i also can treat u as some one i flirt wit.. but .. i simple once step in, cant get out..

*can u understand hw i feel or nt.. im nt trying to make u feel guilty or wat.. i jus realli dun like our r/s to be dragging here and there.. im sure u break up wit mi is cos of some one de .. nt cos of studies.. who will believe u realli break up wit mi cos of studies.. if u realli think i affect ur studies then in the veri beginning, at o's lvl we shld hav already break up. nt as u said, cos tat time we are young.. then u still dunno anything.. nw u hav grown up, wateva things u do be more responsible.. i noe u love to flirt and u said u dun wan to hav a r/s rite nw, but this isnt the ans i wan hear from u.. i truely hope u can jus be frank wit mi.. at least i would feel better.*

im always there for u whenever u nid mi, but u ever think, whenever i nid u , are u there always ? i hav been seeing the doc myself alone for so mani times, u said u would accompany mi.. but in the end i was being put plane.. i jus nid some one to care for mi..

i realli dun ask much.. pls.. dun make mi tears anymore.. half of my life tears are spent on u !